Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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