All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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