Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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