Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
