is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
