I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
