I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
