just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She has the best kind of daddy issues
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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