Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
