Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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