You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
