You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
