and you said cock pushups were impossible
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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