Me. At least after what I've been through.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My bed smells like the plague
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
