Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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