i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
