Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
