she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
