How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
