Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize