Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
