ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
