Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
