i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
