you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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