Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
