He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I currently don't understand fingers.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
