i need an iv and a liver transplant
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
