At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
