I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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