Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
