She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
