If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
