If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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