Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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