well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
