So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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