Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
