shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
