Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Bring me that man meat
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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