i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
