maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
