if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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