do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
