I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
