I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
