i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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