Apparently you make a good broom.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
