I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
