After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
