I'm going to jail i love you
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
