For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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