I forgot how hot balto sounded
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
