bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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